Safety guide

Hookup Safety Tips: Meet Up, Have Fun, Get Home

Straight advice for meeting someone from the site, from the first message to the trip home.

To hook up safely with someone you met online, chat on the site first, have a quick video call, and make the first meet a drink somewhere public. Tell a friend where you'll be and who with, get yourself there and back, and use condoms. If anything feels wrong at any point, leave.

A hookup site gives you a head start on a stranger at the bar: photos, a profile and a conversation before you meet. Still choosing one? Our guide to good hookup sites in the UK weighs up the options. None of this takes long, and it lets you relax and enjoy the evening.

Five habits that keep a hookup fun

Chat on the site first, then have a short video call before you meet.
Never send money or gift cards to someone you haven't met, and report anyone who asks.
Meet somewhere public, tell a friend the plan and make your own way there and back.
Consent is an enthusiastic yes, and either of you can change your mind at any point.
Use condoms with anyone new and get tested regularly.

Get to know them before you meet

Swiping and daily match suggestions (more on the features page) help you find someone. The messages are where you decide whether to meet them.

Chat on the site first. A few days of messages tells you plenty: whether their story hangs together, whether they dodge questions, whether they're in a hurry to move the chat elsewhere. Stay on the site until you're happy to share a number; that's where you can block or report someone.
Have a quick video call. Two minutes on camera shows you they match their photos. Someone who always has an excuse is telling you something.
Run a reverse image search. The big search engines let you search with a photo instead of words. If one of their pictures turns up under another name or on a stock photo site, don't meet.
Never send money. Not for a taxi, a train ticket or a gift card, however good the story. If anyone asks, report their profile from inside the site and stop replying.

Make the first meet a drink somewhere public

First meets belong in a busy pub, bar or café, not at someone's flat. In London or Manchester you'll find plenty near a station; in a smaller town, somewhere central where the bar staff know your face is no bad thing.

Tell a friend where you're going, who you're meeting and when you expect to be home, and send a screenshot of their profile. Agree a time to text that all's well. Then get yourself there and back: drive, book your own cab or know when your last train leaves, and keep your phone charged.

Watch your drink: keep it with you, and if you lose sight of it, get a new one. Go easy on the alcohol too; a drink or two settles the nerves, but more makes it harder to read the other person and to get home.

A clear yes, and the right to change your mind

Consent is an enthusiastic yes, not the absence of a no. It applies to each thing you do, not the night as a whole: coming back to yours isn't agreeing to sex, and agreeing to one thing isn't agreeing to everything. Either of you can stop at any point, even halfway through, without giving a reason.

Ask, and keep asking. "Is this good?" takes two seconds and beats guessing. If someone goes quiet, tenses up or seems unsure, stop and check in. And someone too drunk to know what they're doing can't consent at all.

Stay on top of your sexual health

Use a condom with anyone new, every time, and carry your own. Condoms are the only contraception that also helps protect against sexually transmitted infections.

Get tested regularly while you're meeting new people, and after any time a condom wasn't used or came off, because plenty of infections cause no symptoms. NHS sexual health clinics test and treat in confidence, and you can usually book or walk in without seeing your GP. Many areas also offer home testing kits that you order online and post back.

If a condom splits, act quickly. A pharmacy or clinic can give you emergency contraception, which works better the sooner it's taken, and a sexual health clinic can tell you whether you need PEP, a medicine that can stop HIV taking hold if it's started within 72 hours.

Keep your surname and address to yourself

The site holds some details back for you. The rest is up to you: keep your surname, workplace and address to yourself until you've met and you trust them. Our hookup profile tips cover photos that show you off without giving too much away.

Your username, not your name
Other members see your username, never your real name or the email you joined with.
Pick one you don't use anywhere else.
Your nearest town, not your address
Your profile names your nearest town, not your street or where you are right now.
Keep chat just as vague until you've met.
Block anyone
Once blocked, they can no longer contact you on the site.
Use it the moment someone pushes for details you haven't offered.
Report from inside the site
Report a profile or a single message without leaving the site.
Do it for anyone who asks for money or turns nasty.

If it feels wrong, leave

You don't owe anyone the rest of the evening. If something feels off, whether it's pressure, a story that's changed or just a bad feeling, make your excuses and go. If you spot an Ask for Angela poster in a pub or bar, asking the staff for Angela gets you quiet help to leave.

Call 999 if you're in danger or someone is hurt, and 101 for police matters that aren't an emergency. Afterwards, report the profile and block them; our safety page explains both. If you've been sexually assaulted, a sexual assault referral centre can give you medical care and support, whether or not you go to the police.

For the rest of the night, from nerves to the message after, read what to expect from your first hookup or browse our other hookup guides.

Your hookup safety questions, answered

Is it safe to hook up with someone you met online?

It can be, with the same care you'd take with anyone new: chat on the site, meet in public, tell a friend and get yourself home. Nothing removes every risk, so trust your instincts and leave if something feels off.

When should I give someone my phone number?

Once you've chatted for a while and feel comfortable, which is a natural point for a video call. Until then, keep talking on the site, where blocking or reporting someone stays simple.

Where can I get an STI test in the UK?

At an NHS sexual health clinic, usually without a GP referral. In many areas you can also order a home testing kit online and post your samples back.

Can I change my mind once things have started?

Yes, at any point and for any reason, and so can they. Anyone worth a night with stops the moment you ask, and anyone who doesn't is someone to leave and report.

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