Profile guide
Hookup Profile Tips: Get More Replies
Photos, profile lines and openers that start the right conversations.
A hookup profile that gets replies needs three things: two or three recent photos with your face clearly in view, a few honest lines saying you want something casual, and settings that point your daily matches at people nearby who want the same. Then keep first messages short, personal and built around a question.
A site made for hookups takes the guesswork out of what people are there for, so you don't have to sell a whole personality: just look like yourself and make it easy to say hello. Still picking a site? Start with our guide to good hookup sites in the UK.
What gets you replies
- Lead with a recent, clear photo of your face, with nobody else in the shot and nothing explicit.
- Say plainly that you want something casual, add a couple of specifics and one line on what you're not after.
- Set your age range, distance and what you're looking for, so your suggestions fit what you want.
- Open with something from their profile and a question, in two or three lines.
- Suggest meeting after a proper back-and-forth: not in your first message, and not weeks later.
Photos that get you noticed
Your first photo does most of the work, so make it recent and make your face easy to see: daylight, no sunglasses, no heavy filter. If your hair, weight or beard has changed since, take a new one. Looking like your photos makes the first meet easier for both of you.
Keep everyone else out of the shot. Group photos leave people guessing which one is you, and your friends never signed up to a hookup site.
Then add a full-length photo and one or two of you doing something you enjoy: a walk, a gig, a kitchen you actually cook in. Three to five photos is plenty. Nothing explicit: flirty is fine, and a confident shot in something you feel good in says more than bare skin.
Use pictures that aren't on your social media, so nobody can search from your profile to the rest of your life. Our hookup safety tips say more about keeping things private.
Say what you want, plainly and kindly
There's no need to dance around it on a hookup site. Say you're after something casual, then add a couple of specifics: the kind of evening you like, what you find attractive, when you can usually meet. Specifics give people something to reply to; "easy-going, love a laugh" doesn't.
Add a line on what you're not looking for, said kindly. "Not after anything serious" or "no couples, please" saves everyone time without reading like a list of rules. Something like this works:
Easy-going 34-year-old in Leeds, after something casual and fun. A drink and a proper conversation first, then we'll see where the night goes. I'm tall, I'm a decent cook and I'm usually around midweek. Not looking for anything serious.
Your profile isn't the only thing people read. Status updates, photos and comments on other members' posts (all on the features page) give people more to reply to.
Point your matches at the right people
Daily match suggestions are built from what you tell the site, so ten minutes on your settings pays off every day after.
- Looking for: casual
- Set it to casual. Suggestions take it into account, so they lean towards people after the same thing.
- Age range
- Be honest about who you fancy, then widen it by a few years either way. Skipping a suggestion is easier than missing someone you'd have liked.
- Distance
- Set it to how far you'd really travel on a weeknight. In London a short hop on the map can still be a long trip across town; in the countryside you may need to look wider.
- Lifestyle and interests
- Say whether you drink or smoke and add a few interests. Suggestions weigh these up too, and they hand people an easy opening line.
- Staying active
- Suggestions also take account of how recently people were active, so drop in often rather than once a month.
First messages that get a reply
Read their profile before you write. A good opener picks up one thing they've said or shown, adds a line about you and ends with a question that's easy to answer. Two or three lines is plenty.
Leave anything explicit out. It's tempting to cut to the chase on a hookup site, but an explicit opener gives the other person nothing to answer and is the easiest kind to ignore. Let the flirting build once they've flirted back.
Don't copy and paste either: a pasted message reads like one of twenty, because it is. Classic members can send a limited number of messages a day, so make each one count.
| Instead of | Try |
|---|---|
| Hey | You said a proper pub beats a cocktail bar. Where's your local? |
| You're gorgeous | Great smile in the festival photo. Which festival was it? |
| Anything explicit | I like that you said what you're after. Same here. What's your idea of a good evening? |
| A pasted paragraph about you | One line about you, one question about them. |
No reply? Let it go; one friendly nudge a few days later is plenty. If anyone sends you something you didn't ask for, block them (the safety page explains blocking and reporting).
When should you suggest meeting?
Once you've had a proper back-and-forth, enough messages to know you get on and want the same thing, suggest a drink. Leave it for weeks and the spark goes flat; ask in your first message and it looks as if you skipped their profile.
Make it specific and easy to answer: "Fancy a drink on Thursday? There's a decent pub by the station." A day and a place are easier to say yes to than "we should meet sometime". If they want a video call first, that's fair.
For the night itself, here's what to expect from your first hookup, and there's more in our hookup guides.
Quick answers on profiles and first messages
What should I put in a hookup profile?
Two or three recent photos with your face clear, a few lines saying you're after something casual, a couple of specifics about you and one line on what you're not looking for. Short and honest beats long and clever.
Should I put explicit photos on my hookup profile?
Keep them flirty rather than explicit. A good photo of you dressed the way you like says more about you than bare skin, and it keeps you in control of what a stranger can see.
What's a good first message on a hookup site?
One that shows you've read their profile: pick up something they mentioned, say a little about yourself and finish with a question. Two or three lines, written for them rather than pasted to everyone.
Why is nobody replying to my messages?
Check three things: your first photo (recent, face clear), your profile (does it say what you want?) and your openers (short, personal, ending in a question). Fix the weakest first.
Write your profile, then say hello
Add your photos, set your nearest town and send your first message tonight.
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