Wanting sex needs no excuse
Wanting sex is a normal part of adult life, and you don't owe anyone a reason for it. The post that treats hooking up as an end in itself takes on the voices that say otherwise: religion, the idea that you should wait for the one, and the double standard that shames people, women especially, for having more than one partner. Its argument is that sex can be enjoyed for its own sake, like a good film or a song, without rushing to the end.
If you're carrying some guilt, a few thoughts. Choose partners because you want to, not because you feel pressure. Don't judge other people's choices either; the shame you drop for yourself is shame you can stop handing out. And if a regret keeps coming back after a night, listen to it, because it may be telling you something about what you want.
Hookups can be a good time, but they make a poor substitute for support. If you're low, talk to a friend or your GP as well as whoever you're seeing.
Look after yourself and keep enjoying it
Enjoying sex without guilt is easier when the practical side is sorted. Use a condom with anyone new, every time. Check the date, keep them somewhere cool rather than in a wallet for months, and pair latex with water-based lube. Book regular tests while you're seeing new people, and another after any night when a condom split or got skipped, because many infections cause no symptoms at all.
NHS sexual health clinics will test and treat you in confidence, and most don't need a GP to refer you. Home testing kits are available in many areas too: you order, take your sample and post it back.
Condom split? Move fast. A pharmacy can talk you through emergency contraception, and a sexual health clinic can say whether you need PEP, which has to be started within 72 hours to work. Keep your nearest clinic's number in your phone so you're not searching for it at midnight.
Looking after yourself also means saying no, or stopping, at any point. For the rest of the sensible bits, our hookup safety tips and safety page cover consent, first meets and what to do if something goes wrong. More reasons to say yes are in why hook up, and hook up advice covers the habits that keep it good.
Enjoy it for its own sake
Every post is in the blog archive, newest first.
