Hooking up

Ask clearly and make it easy to say no

Hooking up means two adults agreeing to have sex without it being a relationship. It might be one night, a few repeat visits or a regular arrangement; what matters is that you both know which. HookUps.co.uk has been built around exactly that since 2015, and the skill that matters most is also the simplest: asking.

The post on asking by text offers two routes. The direct message suits someone you've met or someone whose interest is obvious: short, playful, clear about when and where. The softer route gives them a reason to come over that isn't sex on the surface, such as dinner, a film or a coffee, so a no to the film isn't a rejection of you. Choose by how well you know them, and make either one easy to decline.

Be honest on the soft route too. It goes better when both people know what the evening might turn into, and "Come round for a film, I'd like to kiss you" is an invitation, not a trick. Take the first no as final. One polite message is flirting; three is pressure. If you hear nothing, a single gentle nudge after a couple of days is plenty.

Timing matters as much as wording. The older post on just asking makes the case for asking when the conversation is already warm, not as an opener. Flirt first and ask second. If they say yes, confirm the plan the day before and say where you'll meet. If they say no, a quick "No worries, nice chatting" ends it well, and how you take a no says a lot about you.